I have been sitting here for a while now, feeling the pressure to bring you some great revelation or teaching. I have been studying and researching the heart, motivation and what not and I will write about it at some point. But instead of bringing you unfinished revelation that is still brewing in me, I stopped and thought about what really motivates and inspires me.
And you know what does?
Honesty, vulnerability and authenticity.
So, instead of talking AT you, me dear friends, let me take you into my reality. Who knows… it might be totally helpful!
This first quarter of the year I have rekindled friendships with people, many with whom I have been in and out of touch for five to ten years or so. And it has been so refreshing! Turns out… we all have grown and are in different places, especially emotionally! So that was lovely to experience.
It all reminded me of a vision I had about 11-12 years ago.
In this vision I was sitting in a train with others and I had this urgency to equip them for what was to come. So kept giving them these intense looks, because I remember feeling quite intense in this dream. These friends were so weirded out by me that they kept belittling me and tried to stop me entirely, which only made me first more persistent but in the end I gave in, sat down and shut up. One by one they had to leave the train and so as each person got up to leave the train, I reached into my huge sack (one like St Nicholas had) and picked a tool that I thought would especially be of benefit to them and just insisted they take it. To the first one I gave a hammer and nails, the next a drill and so on. As they had all left the train, I was saddened in a way. I was alone on the train and they were gone and I felt grief that we all parted in this rather strange way.
In this vision I had another vision. In that I saw them using their tools and thanking God for the gift they’d received. I remember waking up and the Lord reminded me to not give up to do good, for at the proper time I would receive my reward for it.
We are all not perfect and we are growing ALL the time! Different areas at different times and in different ways. And it really sucks! Because it means that offering and receiving something does not always pair up at the right time in the way we want it to happen. Business is about demand/need and supply. Wisdom, love and insight is often offered whether people receive it or not. Now when I say we are not perfect then I really mean we. And I mean ME. I am not perfect. And that means sometimes though I might have excelled in an area and sown my gift into others it could have come across in a really strange and maybe weird way to them, because that is just where I was at. And that is ok as it is ok for them to not “get” what I was on about.
Do you hear what I am saying? Living out loving others and having integrity sometimes means that we might sow where we will not reap. We might also experience deep need and only the good Shepherd will be there to fill our cup. Solitude is part of the game of loving others just as they are. And it is tough business! I am still learning to be content in it.
But in the last 4 months alone I have experienced that whatever is sown in love will bear the fruit of love. Let me say that again! Whatever is sown in love, true love, not pretend love, will eventually bear the fruit of love. In a time where everything is RIGHT NOW, we forget that some things take time. They really do.
What am I saying? Let us not give up doing good, for there will be a reward in time. (Galatians 6:9)
Remember, we are all journeying through life, and sometimes that means parting ways as peacefully as we can, in order to stay true to conviction and our hearts. But love… LOVE remains. Love can only produce love! Whatever is sown in love will bear the fruit of love!
It is a beautiful thing.
Love well my friends x
P.S.: How does this effect you? I would love to hear from you x