Still here

Carina de Vetter adventure, Blog, Carina, Faith, humor, Living, Making Way, Vulnerability 0 Comments

I am still here! You too? I mean, nothing has changed over here. I pray, I push boundaries and sometimes I see a glimmer of something and then … SLAM… it is back to square one or two. Graham Cooke said that “The enemy wants to tire you, but REST is a weapon. Destroy the enemy’s life by being at peace!”

I can hear the doubt at times… “Shouldn’t you already …?” “Should you not have been able to… by now?” … Shoulds, if only I woulds and the oughts of doubt are plaguing me these days!! Waiting is hard, y’all! It is hard!!!

I recently read an article by Sharon Hodde Miller called “Obedience over outcome” and as I was reading it I kept nodding and smiling and my family heard me say “Story of my life!”
Let me quote her real quickly! “…a reality I have been grappling with lately. God’s calling is not an automatic guarantee of success. You can pray, fast, seek wise counsel, and research every angle, but none of that is a predictor of outcome. You could still fail. You could still be embarrassed. Things might not work out the way you planned, because this is the honest truth: God doesn’t call you to succeed. He calls you to obey!”
BAM! Seriously! I believe this with all my heart and I also live in the reality of it. But having it preached to me by this article felt really comforting and strengthening. I am not the only one “still here” despite, doing our life ABC’s.

For almost two years God has been inviting us and calling us out of our current situation. We have prayed, sought counsel, prayed with seasoned friends and ministers. We have researched every angle for weeks on end, spoken with lawyers and other heads of departments and still… there is no moving or shifting!
Throughout all this, comes the word of the Lord again and again…. “I am ‘unstucking’ you!” And it is more than just a little still small voice on the inside. It is a loud and clear word that keeps coming as people reach out to us or we to them, knowing of our situation or not!
And sometimes, without hypocrisy, I am fed up and every ounce of my heart and mind shouts at me “Abort, abort!” and I am looking for new directions here and there (and find them too) and sometimes I feel like I have turned in a circle one too many times and then I start praying,… again… and there God meets me … again, like he did only a few hours earlier, because he gets it.  I feel his presence and peace settle over me like a warm blanket. And I rest in Him. Stilling myself like child that has been weaned by its mother (Psalm 131:2) and there I surrender. Come what may, I will stand and not move UNTIL he tells me otherwise!
Sometimes we can be too smart for our own good! We assume that we can just choose the easiest route, the next step that makes sense to us, so we are back on track and have a sense of success. But if that success looks opposite to what we know God is saying to us, is it success at all?
I am still here resting in God. And maybe some of you are too or have to find comfort in the midst of the “stagnant”, because his word is loud within us. Success or failure, embarrassment or not… it is all the same to us! There is victory, because our victory has nothing to do with our current situation at all! And that is a good reminder to have!

The other day, I woke up in the middle of the night because of a very vivid dream. In this dream I was to minister to a whole group of people. Unfortunately there was such great heaviness in the room I could hardly keep my eyes open. I looked at my husband and asked Him to start playing a baseline on the guitar. He did and I started singing, almost chanting over the crowd and as they started to sing with me, the heaviness was replaced first with peace and air, then with frantic joy. Here is what we declared:

I am alive and I know that you’re with me.
I am alive and I know that you’re by my side.
I am alive and I know that you’re with me God.”

So, I am declaring it over you too, whatever you are waiting for, however rough it looks, come what may…. God is with you, he is not leaving, he is by your side! And that my friends is comfort enough right now!

Much love always

Carina xx

P.S. : Enjoy this tune. xx

unsplash-logoNiklas Hamann

Carina de Vetter
Making Way Founder

Blogger. Worship Artist.
occasional Speaker. Coach/Mentor
Wife to Sam and Mom to two boys.
encouraging. authentic. empowering.

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